May seems to have been a humdinger for many of us. I see how so many are so deeply challenged, perhaps bringing our core wound to the surface? Of course, the wound is always separation but it has a different flavor for each of us.
My experience is the intensity always has a purpose in mind, to break us free of some limitation. Yet after 4 months of not feeling hardly any “overwhelm” or “anxiety” it has not been fun to have May filled with both off and on. I see how I want to turn to victim or curse my sensitivity which has so often made it feel like life on this planet was something I just wasn’t suited for. Yes, I do love myself and share a profound love with another and that has saved me. Yet it still remains so uncomfortable to be in my own skin sometimes. While I have had numerous breakthroughs on this subject, it still brings a low-grade discomfort that still sometimes reaches high grade. So how do I REALLY love this aspect of self and not see it as s colossal mistake?
That is the question May has brought more fully to the surface. How do I not see my sensitivity as a mistake, a design flaw? First I see how others who are not similarly challenged seem to live so much from their minds. I see my challenges have dropped me deep into the heart of compassion. I see how I am one of the more loving people I know and for this, I am extremely grateful.
But I realize it must go further than this. My conditioning and circumstances must be perfectly aligned with my purpose, my mission, my joy. How to reconcile that? That is the question living in my heart. I know Matt says to go beyond question yet questions still serve me. I know I am on the right track, I know that, like in Matt’s dream, I will discover I have never done anything wrong and that there is nothing wrong with me, that I am perfect and so is my sensitivity. Despite how it seems to have limited me, kept me in a more solitary, sheltered life, I choose in this moment to celebrate myself. I hope we all choose to do the same whatever our perceived limitations. Please let me know if you have any insights on this. I was so delighted to find this quote from “A Course of Love” just a few minutes ago. It was a sign I am in the perfect place at the perfect time as we all are, of course. May we all be blessed to know this. Whatever your challenge be it financial, relational, health, career may you know you are so perfect exactly as you are.
“All power to effect change comes from acceptance – not acceptance of the way things are, but acceptance of who you are in the present. Not through acceptance of the way you want to be but of the way you are now. . . . How freeing it will be to accept all of your feelings and not to puzzle over which are true and which are false! To realize that you no longer have false feelings. That your feelings are not misleading you but supporting you! That they are but calling you to expression of your true Self! True representation of who you are – who you are now! D:Day8:8, 28”